Take a look

I saw this movie for the first time a few days ago, watching while trying to avoid concentrating on the treadmill I was walking on. This movie captured my attention. Not everyone will appreciate it as I have. I came from a family of hardworking people, you worked for what you wanted. Frank Goode is a hardworking father of four, a widow, who heads out across the country to see and surprise his children one by one with a visit. His journey allows him to see the landscape, take pictures, and tell people about his life as a lineman, coating telephone wires in plastic. He visits his children, and realizes something alarming, yet significant about each one. The story ends with a touch a sadness, but closure......take a look.

How far away!

How far away I have been, at least that is what I have realized about myself these past few weeks. Far away in thought, about God, my marriage, my children, and my life. My stronghold or anchor has been my growing faith, ever growing, always. As I look over my shoulders backward at the past, and then turn around into the present, I realize today how much closer my relationship to Jesus has become, how close I feel to Him. I see myself stretching and changing, things that were fuzzy before are now clear. Daily I ask for wisdom, and so it is to this I give credit where credit is due. I remember the veil, that thin piece of life that shrouded me before I accepted the Lord as my Saviour, and I remember the moment it lifted. Another veil has lifted, a layer of judgement and lack of information. Being married and having children has caused me to reflect on my own upbringing. I can not imagine my life, marriage or bringing up my children without a spiritual focus, I do not know how my parents did it. I was fortunate to have everything a child/teenager, could ask for or need. I was disciplined sharply, and was raised with morals and values, and mac and cheese, but Jesus was missing. I now see how vital that key ingredient of faith is to home and family. The focus of holidays was never on the true meaning, but rather the glorified worlds view. Meals were never opened in prayer and thanksgiving. Our home at times was filled with worry and fear. So now I focus on my home, and I look at how different my life is, and am thankful that though Jesus was never invited in when I was a child, He always stood at the door knocking.......welcome home!

Great quote

Vengeance is the lazy man's way to mourn

When it all comes together.....

So I went to a women's conference this past weekend, and since then have been both burdened and uplifted by many new thoughts and feelings. The speaker was Lysa Terkeurst from Proverbs31.org. An amazing woman of full of beauty and grace, with a southern drawl to draw you in. Her life stories and testimonies flowed one into another, bringing mixtures of both tears and laughter from her captive audience. I sat memorized, trying to soak every word and emotion in during those two days. She shared from 2 Chronicles 20, the story about King Jehoshaphat and the worrisome situation facing his kingdom. Instead of sending a military show of force during such a critical time, the king send ahead of the army a group of men to sing and praise the Lord. As their songs reached the heights of heaven, the Lord set ambushes against the the opposing armies, and they were defeated. In relation to the current situations of life we all find ourselves a part of, the small armies of worry that surround us, we would do well to send out to the Lord's ears, prayers and praises. What better people, believers we would be. Our problems, worries and concerns would become small in comparison to the greatness of the God we serve. It all comes together when we realize that parts of the Bible we often find insignificant, hold huge examples of God's provision and grace. I am inspired from King Jehoshaphat to trust and leave the result up to God, in spite of the armies of circumstance and worry around me....

2009 Christmas letter

Tale of Three Trees
There were once three trees. The first tree dreamed of holding a treasure. The second tree dreamed of being a strong ship. The third tree dreamed of being the tallest tree in the world. So that when people raised their eyes to heaven to look at her............they would think of God.
One day, wood cutters came and chopped down the trees. The first tree became a feed box for animals. The second tree became a fishing boat. The third tree was cut into beams and left in a pile. The trees eventually forgot their dreams. One night, a lady used the feedbox as a manager for her baby. The first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure of the world. The second tree was caught in a storm. But with one word, one man calmed the waves. The tree knew he was carrying the King of heaven and earth. One Friday, the third tree was taken from the woodpile. And a man's hands were nailed to her. Sunday, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the first tree beautiful. The second tree strong. And when people look at the third tree, they think of God.
This year in the Leavell household, we have sought to dream big. We now have our own business, OakenBleau Ltd.., which has been a welcome source of revenue, and opened up opportunities to get to know some new people. We were able to accomplish many outdoor projects during the warmer months, along with planting our own version of a “victory” garden this summer. Learning by trial and error that string beans really do need to be unstrung. We were fortunate this year to make a VERY long trip to the Outer Banks for a beachside visit with the ghost crabs. Elijah started his first year of preschool, learning everything from the days of the week to why spiders have 8 legs. Everyday is a new adventure. Gabriel is learning what it means to be an only child 3 days a week, I think he likes it! Elijah is becoming more observant, causing mom and dad to spell everything in code, while Gabe is becoming our little comedian.
John and I are learning to dream big regarding the things that require faith and trust, as well as being challenged to become more thrifty and creative in how we use our resources. We are basking in the simpleness of what this season was meant to be, a spotlight for our dear Saviour's birth.
Like the three trees, we all have dreams. If we trust God and let Him be our guide, he will answer the desires of our heart in ways we never thought imaginable. May God bless you and fulfill your dreams this Christmas season and in the coming year!

One of my favorite parts of Christmas!

Lay 'em down

Driving home on Friday night after work, I had to make an out of the way stop. This song came onto the radio, and though I have heard it several times, something in that moment and in those words struck a chord with me. As I pulled out of the parking lot I found myself in a place of worship. The windows were down, and the moon up ahead reminded me of the stability of my unchanging Saviour. To quote Pearl Asperschlager, "So often we think of the circumstances or the "facts" of our life as being the same thing as the "truth" of our life. In fact, Scripture teaches us that "truth" is something far more than facts". The "truth" that we need as the foundation of our life is not found in the changing circumstances of our day to day living, but rather in the person of Jesus Christ, who is Truth and speaks ultimate Truth and never changes!..." In that sacred moment of worship, I found myself laying my changing circumstances by the river.

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down

All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All the helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down

We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you rich men
And the high above
All those with
And without love
All you burdened
And turned around
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

Some fun summer pictures

These two little boys are inseparable, finally the day has come when they can be playmates, brothers and most importantly friends. They love each other which makes their mommy and daddy very happy!

Jump Jenni Jump

My current addiction as of late has been two blogs, www.jumpdavidjump.typepad.com, and 7schwinns.blogspot.com. Both speak of tragedy, hopefulness, and the faith that is tested and made stronger. The people in these blogs have had to jump from one way of thinking about faith and life, into the reality of trusting a Heavenly Father they can not see, but trust in. They are both drawing on their past memories of God's working in their lives, and trusting in the words of Jesus. I have found myself wondering how I would respond if faced with the same trials and tragedies. Would my faith be strong enough, would I be able to jump from my current frame of mind to one of complete surrender. I am learning so much from these two journeys, both marked with losses and gains, the loss of physical comforts, the gains of spiritual wholeness. These two people are seeing and experiencing the mercy of God in new and refreshing ways, their faith is alive and vibrant. They have hope, not necessarily of surviving and living out their days here on earth, but a hoped marked by one end goal....heaven. They have eternal vision, and peace that passeth all understanding. Most importantly in their greatest need Jesus himself is drawing near to them. He is revealing himself through others reaching out, through prayer, and through His word. I am inspired and encouraged, and excited for these two people and their families and all that God has purposed for them.
"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom"
Psalm 90:12

An essay on age

Someday (if the blogger world still exists), I will look back on this current posting and hopefully laugh.
My memory is often impaired when it comes to childhood events, but one thing is for sure I remember the birthday parties and family gatherings in relation to the topic of age. There was always some comment to pass between the adults regarding the age related ills of growing older, the comments seeming to pass over our young heads. I remember laughing to myself, and feeling so lucky that I didn't have those same aches and pains, believing that I never would. Growing up and older is humbling business. The longer you live, the more you realize the frailties of humans. The skin changes, and changes in hair, there are aches and pains that come out of nowhere all of a sudden. My own frailties have come to the forefront of my life lately. I have been living with a plantar fascitis, ulcerative colitis, my knees bother me and creek when going up stairs. I can now recognize little crows feet and wrinkles on my face. I find myself kind of freaking out about getting older. I always thought I would handle the aging process with grace and beauty, that I would welcome it and embrace it wholeheartedly.
I work with mostly an elderly, aging population. I try to envision them in their early years, even 10 year earlier, how they must have looked. I ask questions about their lifestyles, not trying to pry, but trying to educate myself. Perhaps I am on the hunt for the fountain of youth, what can I avoid that has caused them to age? I reluctantly resign myself to the truths of growing older in an age obsessed society. I have found that I can control two things, my lifestyle habits.....exercise, vitamins, stress, sleep, diet, and my attitude to aging. My attitude needing to be one of grace and submission to the natural ways of life. And though my memories have failed in recollections of childhood, the topics of aging propel me forward. It is a universal, uncontrolled phenomenon that we must all endure, it is the enduring that matters!

Another quote

"Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows." John Benjamin

The power of words

"If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things." James 3:2-5
Words have the power to uplift and the power to wound us and vacuum us up. My current reading addiction is "The most important place on earth" by Robert Wolgemuth. There are several chapters, and parts of chapters dedicated to the power and play of words, specific to raising children. These chapters have brought to mind two specific women in my life who have known the wisdom of chosen thought before speaking. Both women speak only after they have given careful thought to how their words will sound or be absorbed by the listener. They use both tact, gentleness, and steady reasoning when they share their ideas. Their speech is both pronounced and, heavy, as you hang on each word. One woman is from my past, the second woman is in my present, propelling me forward in my education of the chosen, spoken word. Neither woman is aware of the other, though I gander that if in a room together their conversation would be sweet and heard in the heights of heaven. "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

The three phases of Mister Rogers

I have found as I have gotten older, and now have children of my own, that I gone through three phases of Mister Rogers. The first phase was filled with wonderment, and awe at this make believe neighborhood, somewhere in the middle of America. A red trolley sounded its bell of entrance into this make believe world, filled with puppets who all had the same voice. Mister Roger's was my first babysitter of sorts, teaching me much about attitude, graciousness, and a new song or two. Phase two came around in junior high/high school. Everyone made fun of the man in the red sweater, with the sweaty sneakers. Eddie Murphy put a voice to our poking fun of a man who only a few years earlier had been a trying to teach us how to be a good neighbor. Now enter phase three of Mister Rogers, and my current frame of mind and spirit. It is only in the last few years that I have once again become enamored with this enigma of a man in a red sweater. Last year after much searching, I borrowed a book titled "I'm so proud of you". It is written from the viewpoint of a newspaper reporter, and his friendship with the man Fred Rogers. His friendship made up of letters and emails trickling through a period of about 7 years. At the end of each letter, Mister Rogers would sign off with IPOY (I am proud of you). I became endeared through this man's example of encouragement, and mentoring that he offered. Recently I received another book by Fred Rogers titled, "Many ways to say I love you". As a parent now, I have a newfound appreciation for the motives, and ways of Mister Rogers. His generous spirit gave so much to me, and many others. Hopefully we can provide a trickle down effect on the children we now have to raise. Soon they will be experiencing their first phase of Mister Rogers. "Children who hear that they are loved in many different ways are likely to find their own ways to say it to the people they love - all through their lives." Long live Mister Rogers neighborhood!

Three quotes

"If you could have heaven, your health, your relationships, your dreams, and God is not there, is that okay?" John Piper

"Don't ever limit your evaluation of yourself to yourself" Mahaney

"In our church if you don't love who we love (God/Christ), then you are not comfortable." John MacArthur

I love quotes, they inspire, challenge, and teach us.

Christmas gift suggestions

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!" Hamilton Wright Mabre.
Tis that season again, the time to reflect on the past 12 months and sum them up in a few short sentences. Upon our arrival last year to Ohio, we found ourselves living out of boxes in a small 2 bedroom apartment. We set about the business of finding a place to call home, a job, and a church family. I started out in the emergency room of our local hospital, soon realizing my talents did not lie in the adrenaline rich moments of life. I am currently on the medical unit, and feel fortunate to be in a place where I can utilize my strengths. John continues to stay at home raising our two boys, and restoring another house on the side. His name is becoming well known in the neighborhood as the handy man on the corner of Potwin and East Vine. All summer long passerby's and drivers alike would wave or honk their horn with a thumbs up sign hanging out the window. We have seen the power and hand of God throughout the process of relocating here to Ohio. He has provided us many new opportunities to serve Him, and in turn blessed our lives with sustenance, wisdom and encouragement. It has been a real treat to be nearer to parents and grandparents, and be able to celebrate in life's moments as they are happening. Our boys are becoming more comfortable with each other, and realizing the benefits of having each other in their lives. They keep each other busy, and challenge each other in ways only they can appreciate or need. Our new place of residence is near downtown, and so we are privy to the celebrations, parades, farmers markets, and local faire right out our front door. We have two universities within a 5 mile radius, and an old railroad converted into a walking path that we have utilized fairly regularly this past summer. There have been many activities and the such to keep us busy this year, and more to come I am sure. We welcome visitors, and so if you find yourselves in our neck of the woods stop by. We have much to celebrate this season, and much to be thankful for. So from our family to yours, here are a few Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness
To an opponent, tolerance
To a friend, your heart
To a customer, service
To all charity
To every child, a good example
To yourself, respect
Oren Arnoid

Stand up, stand up

Several Sunday's ago I was privy to something that has stayed with me, something that spoke to my needs and my life. We had a guest speaker preaching that morning in church. As he closed the message, the piano began to play. He then asked if a certain old hymn could be sung. The music director quickly stepped up on stage with hymnal in hand, turning the pages to find the song. Suddenly from my left hand side came the gentle older voice of an elderly man singing solo. People from the congregation joined in behind him, picking up on his lead. With eyes closed, and mouths open the words freely came. I was captured by this small example of what heaven may one day be like, as in unison believers join together to praise and make music unto the Lord. The words of that hymn have stayed with me, I have found myself humming these words as I walk into work, or drive alone around town.
"My Jesus, I love Thee I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou:
If ever I loved thee, my Jesus tis now.
I love thee because thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved thee, my Jesus tis now.
I'll love thee in life, I will love thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved thee, my Jesus tis now.
In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus tis now."
William R. Featherston

A glimpse into the fall

The fall here was most lovely and inviting for leaf peeping. These little men are the jewels in my "princess" crown. They love being in the center of the camera's eye, and we loved that they cooperated. Enjoy!

Wednesday morning nausea............

Nauseated and mournful is how I would describe my overall state of being Wednesday morning. Mournful over the state of this great country called America, and nauseated over the selection of our new commander in chief. Godly men and women from all over this country have been on their knees praying for God's will to be done in the highest office. I was reminded by a wise woman in my life, about the end of Christ's time here on earth, as he stood before Pontius Pilate. Pilate says to Jesus, "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus replies to him "You would have no power over me if it was not given to you from above" I am encouraged by these verses, because I serve a great God who is still in control, He is still present, real and involved in the daily events of this life, my life. My duty and call as a believer in Jesus Christ is to get down on my knees and to pray for our new president, his cabinet, family, and those who voted in his favor. I have been challenged and energized also to pray for one last revival to sweep our country, an awakening of God's people to rise out of complacency, material goodness and seek God's face. I know my time as a believer here on earth is drawing nigh, but I know too that there are many who don't have a hope, and eternal vision. We need a great awakening here "if my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land" 2 Chronicles 7:14. We as a nation need healing and restoration. I attended a Gen X'er church in Denver, at the end of every service the pastor would say these prophetic words. "May God use our generation to change the world one last time." May we be found ready and willing.

My favorite things

My anxieties regarding all that is going on around us, in our country, in our politics, and in the world abroad is unsettling, and challenging to my joy. So I sat down and made a list of my favorite things.
1. My husband John loving on my boys
2. My boys rolling with laughter, and making each laugh out loud
3. My new ice tea maker
4. Sweet smelling candles
5. Chocolate skittles
6. Playlist
7. Real Simple
8. Knitting
9. Pumpkin pudding
10. Enjoying my job as a nurse (love what you do, and you will never have to work another day in your life)
Lists are great, they help in reminding us of what we originally held as important.

Sights and sounds of a dying summer

Growing up, I can recall the sounds of crickets chiming away in the night. These chiming noises were the sounds of a dying summer, at least according to my uncle. The first sights of Queen Anne's lace also became an indicator for the close of another summer. To me the county fair is a way to celebrate the ending of summer, a fulfillment of the goodness of all the hard work of summer. This year we went to two different fairs, both unique, having much to offer in food, animals, and laughter. Our boys loved the John Deere tractors, feeding the goats, and petting the rabbits. There is always much to see and do at the fair. After the rides came to a stop, and the animals were loaded up, if you listened closely you could hear the faint chime of the crickets, and smell the fragrant offering of Queen Anne's lace.