Ruth Bell Graham 1920-2007

This world has lost a treasured soul. Over the past year I have become acquainted with this beautiful woman of God through her written words. Her person has always intriqued me, and so I finally decided to invest some time in reading more about who she was. I found her to be a woman of amazing integrity and strength. Her children have often remarked about witnessing her on her knees, praying, and the lasting impression that left on their lives. Her best friend and love was Jesus. I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but she is someone I would aspire to be more like. I could only hope to someday be half the
woman she was, and to leave such an impression on my children. She lived this life with grace, and left this earth in the same manner. I found this quote by her on her website, which embraces what we should all want death to be.
Time to Adore
"And when I die I hope my soul ascends slowly, so that I may
watch the earth receding out of sight, its vastness growing smaller
as I rise, savoring its recession with delight. Anticipating joy
is itself a joy. And joy unspeakable and full of glory needs more
than "in a twinkling of an eye", and more than "in a moment",
Lord who am I to disagree? It's okay we have much to leave behind;
so much....Before. These moments of transition will, for me, be
time to adore."

John's day................

"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" I would be remiss if I didn't mention my special husband today. He is an amazing man, who daily shows me what genuine creativity, pursuant tolerance, and everlasting patience is all about. He answered the higher caller of raising our two boys. I know he struggles at times questioning his discipline methods, or wondering whether he is doing the right thing. He cherishes all of us, takes care of us, makes sure everything at home is running smoothly. He daily seeks His Lord, striving to be more Christlike in nature. I prayed for this man, long before I knew him. I knew when I met him, that he would make a great father someday. I knew that he would someday bless his children's lives with humor, generosity of time, creativity, and a love for His Saviour. I do love this man, he still captivates me daily with who he is.......Happy Father's day John!................

To pursue and live......

When you pursue and live out your God given potential...3 things should take place
- you will live your life in such a way it demands an explanation
- you will live your life in such a way that it echoes in eternity
- you will live your life in such a way that it marks where is God is moving!
WOW! I keep this 3 things on my frig, to daily remind me of my role here....and to remind me of the shortcomings I still have. I would like to think/believe that I am headed in the right direction.
A new thought.....actually one that I have been thinking about lately on my short drives to work......are there ever periods in life, meaning periods of time, days, weeks, months.... where there is no meaning derived from that time, where the purpose if any is missing. As I have been thinking back over the past 10 years of my life....I can think of two periods of which I am not sure what I should/could have gained from those experiences, what should I have learned about myself, or knowing what God's role was. The first period was in 1997, while involved in Young Life (a parachurch organization). The spring of that year was significant in the fact that I faced a fairly serious depression, and as I look back in recollection, I have been unable to trace His Hand...I know He was there...He always is. The second major time was the summer of 2001, John and were working up on the shores of Lake Sammammish in Washington....to this day we can not figure why God directed us up there! I do know that when you pursue and live out your God given potential....3 things happen......but the one that seems most significant is that when you live out your God given potential it will echooooooe into eternity. Sobering, knowing that someday when I am on the other side, I will find out whose life I impacted for His kingdom...too much pride would exist if we were to find out sooner.....so I will just wait.....pursue and live.

My Girls are leaving..........

it is sad but true....the Gilmore girls have said adu. They are headed off to the land of syndication. John and I were first introduced to the "Girls" in the spring of 2006. After putting Elijah to bed, we would race downstairs to go into another reality for a small amount of time, a reality called Stars Hollow...a mystical place, where people are random, friendly, and the twinkling lights downtown make you want to crawl into the television. We buzzed through seasons 1-5, and then the summer came...and gasp! we had to wait until season 6 was released in the fall to catch up on the lives of our new found friends. By the fall of 2006, we had two babies we were putting down early, so we could race downstairs to go into another reality.....so goodbye, Lorelia, Rory, Kirk, Lane, Luke...and all the many characters who made life in Stars Hollow so interesting.

Is it Mother's Day........

It is surreal at times to think that I too am a mother. As I look at my 2 little men, and I really think about it......I CAN NOT BELIEVE!!!, that I didn't have these boys in my life any sooner, I can't really recall what my life was like before my children came. I remember as John and I headed to the hospital that cold January night, I remarked, how from this day forward our lives would no longer be our own, but that it would forever be changed. It sure has changed....some anticipated, some surprises...but all good!.............Happy Mother's Day to all the many women, mother's or not, who have helped define or been a part of someone else's life where a positive change has occurred. I can not help but think of my Aunt Joy, when I think of someone who has impacted my life for the better......she had a part in introducing me to the groom of life, Jesus Christ. She has helped me to find my indentity in Christ, and establish who I am as a woman of God.......Is it really Mother's Day!....yes, tis so...................

Jesus is my King

I first heard this read by Tony Evans, when he came to speak at Cedarville. The words left a great impression on me. I hope they will affect you in some way as well......listen..........

Mr. Petscher once said.....

be nice to each other, you will need each other, and someday your relationship might be all you will have. This black and white picture of Heather and I, was taken when our trips home coincided. I rarely see her now, but treasure the time when we are together. We are adult women now, and have come full circle in our relationship with each other, calling and checking in at least weekly. We talk recipes, and relationships. She offers advice when I need it, and knows when I just need someone to listen. We are different in our styles, musical tastes, and future aspirations, but from those differences we gain new insight or perspective on something that can only make us better. I feel fortunate to share the same family birthright and heritage with Heather, and to know that I will always have her in my life. God has honored my prayers for her. She is all grown up now, married to a fellow who I prayed for, and God in His goodness delivered. And so.....as Mr. Petscher once said...be nice to each other, you will need each other, and someday your relationship might be all you will have.........

A List of Things!

In my reading last evening...I was reminded of the verse, "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. " Deut 6:6-9.......I was convicted through this particular book by a list of 7 questions or first truths.
1. who am I as a person?
2. how did I get here?
3. is there a right or wrong way to believe and act?
4. is there a God, and if so, what does He expect of me?
5. how do I achieve eternal life, if it exists?
6. will I someday be held accountable for the way I have lived on earth?
7. what is the meaning of life and death?
The enormity of raising children to know and fear God is a daunting task....."the meaning in life comes only by answering the eternal questions listed above, and they are adequately addressed only in the Christian faith." I pray daily for Elijah and Gabriel, that John and I will be able to model what we believe, feel convicted when conviction is necessary, and will stay true to the Word of God as it applies to our lives, and living daily for Him. I pray that someday these little boys will be able to give an answer for the hope that is inside them.........

A favorite quote!

From time to time.....I will post a quote that caught my eye, or has challenged me in some way.
"When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. May you live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." An Indian saying

Free to a good home

"Free to a good home", is what I say to most people who inquire about our dogs, Greta and Chubbie. Greta is what we would imagine our border collie, Cherokee may have been like in his younger years, and hopefully she will mellow into what we knew him as. She is a dog on the move, always wanting to know what's going on. She still has a lot of pup in her, judging from the obvious signs of always wanting to play, and play. Chubbie on the other hand is reserved, and laid back. Our leather chair, now shows the signs of permanent ownership by him. He is a food conisseour, always on the stake for a tasty morsel, or treat. The two of them, make a rag tag twosome. It is always my luck, that when John leaves the house or even a room......they begin to wrestle, tails thrashing, mouths a moving, flopping every which way, and I stand back in moments of sometimes frustration, laughter, or dismay, not knowing what to do, other than to let them play. I never thought we would find replacements for Lily and Cherokee, actually we didn't find replacements...we found new friends, or....perhaps they found us!

Gabriel Oaken

Let me introduce you to the newest addition to our family, my newest love......Gabriel. He is a sweet baby, smiley, bright eyed, and full of hope. I know someday he will face disappointment, but for now I can trap him in a safe, protected world......sharing only what I want him to know. Today he turns 7 months old, this is the best age.......his senses are fully in play, he makes eye contact, searching with eyes for approval, and recognition. It is neat and sobering at the same time to be needed, and wanted by this 7 month old. Happy Birthday....sweet boy!

The Holiday

I would be remiss, if I did not rant for a bit about a new movie just released on DVD....The Holiday. It is not often when I see a movie, that I am moved by all aspects of the movie, including setting, clothing, actors, or storyline. This movie had the perfect blend, it made me wish to be sitting next to my kindred spirit.....as only she could appreciate all the girly moments, and see what I saw. So Holly if you read this....watch The Holiday......and think of me!

Strangers in a strange land

Finally a return after a VERY LONG break, and a baby boy in between! I get intermittent spurts of writing inspiration, especially when under the influence of a good cup of coffee.....life just always seems so much more positive, and possible after a cup of joe. Well after almost 5 years of our lives embedded here in Vermont, we have become "strangers in a strange land". We have decided to move...moving for various reasons, family, change in lifestyle, and politically. It has been a long process of praying, struggling with lists of positives vs. negatives, talking to friends and family, visiting different potential sites of occupancy, and finally praying for an everlasting peace that passeth all understanding. I have learned alot of things about myself these past 5 years. I have learned that living in the valley isn't always the worst thing, it makes you crave the River, and brings to light what is necessary, and lasting. I have come to the realization that ultimately we as Christians are strangers in a strange land, that we will never truly be comfortable or welcomed here.....and that is okay, painful at first to come to terms with...but okay.
I believe I have become more cynical, and a little burned out on all the welfare I see around me....I have come to know and believe when you pay people to be poor, they will be poor.
I think I have lost a sense of compassion, something I had only heard about from other nurse's and health care workers. I was always warned about losing it....losing what?.....losing the "it" of nursing...the care. The locals here are a strange folk, filled with pride in their state and land. If you are not a native you are known as a flatlander. At first I took offense to such a term, but now, I am thankful I wasn't raised here. Vermonter's tend to stay to themselves, they make up their own rules for things, most would give you the shirt off their back, and then call the police to get it back. I have a handful of close "Vermont" friends, that if we should choose will remain so, long after I have left this strange land. In some way I feel I have made a way in the desert, shed some Light into the lives of others. In the end...I reminded that God is good all the time....all the time inspite of circumstance or self.

Some of my favorite things......

I know Thanksgiving is over..........but after much reflection, and knowing that anytime is a good time to be thankful.....here are a few of my favorite things
~ getting my hair washed at the hairdressers, a pancake breakfast to celebrate the first snowfall, the smell of wood smoke in the fall evenings, the sweet taste of a maple creemie on a hot day in the summer, saving leftover change in a jar, then counting it on a rainy day, having my son reach out for me for comfort, the magic of Christmas, knowing that I am redeemed, and headed to heaven, flying kites, listening to a song that makes you smile, and revs your soul, crying, laughing like you mean it, knitting a beautiful blanket or scarf, a rich cup of coffee (more cream and sugar than coffee), corn mazes, waking up after a good dream, hearing a great message, that challenges and feeds the soul, living like He is coming tommorrow, knowing the best is yet to come...............

Happy belated birthday.......

To myself.........I am officially 33 years old as of yesterday. What does that mean, that I am 22 years older than I was when I was 11....or that I am not yet there to 35, almost just a matter of two more years. I have to say, I don't feel much different than I did yesterday 24 hours ago.
I received some great phone calls from my friends and family far away. It felt good to be honored in a sense, appreciated for having been born. I think that is why I like birthdays (most of the time).....because for just a short time you are king or in my case queen for a day...just ask my husband. So happy belated birthday to myself.................

The leaves are falling

The season of autumn.....always brings with it a sense of nostalgia, a sense of rememberance. It was during the fall, that both my uncle and I were born, and it is in the fall when he died. I believe that in the process of grieving for someone who has died, we often share stories both good and bad about them....and so it goes. It was during the war in Vietnam October 5th, 1967 when my uncle was killed. My mom shared with me the story of how her and my father found out he had been killed. My father and her were at her grandparents house visiting, when my Uncle Alex showed up at the side door. My grandmother asked how the weather was~and the my uncle replied..."Oh the leaves are falling." I believe for my family everything was a blur after that, and that true healing never really was accomplished, life just sort of moved on, that is why there are stories both good and bad........"the leaves are falling."